ESCAPISM

CONVERSATION KILLERS

For the last few days I have worked with a beautiful eight-six year old woman.  She is a kind, bubbly lady who loves to giggle, talk about her family, and tell me how beautiful I am (which conveniently is always right before she convinces me to rub her back).  I really do enjoy working with her even if her dementia is kicking in and she repeats the same old questions every few minutes.

The other day we started talking about marriage, one of my favourite subjects to bring up with the seniors I work with.  She asked how old I was and naturally the next question was whether or not I am married.  When I told her I wasn’t she gave off a tiny little shrill of relief and said I was a smart women with my head on my shoulders.  She went on to explain that her marriage was the best thing that happened to her but only because she broke tradition and waited to get married when she was thirty five.  She spoke about the judgement that came along with that decision, the worry it caused her family, and the doubt it put in her own mind.  She made me promise that as each of my girlfriends get married, I attend the wedding with a smile and don’t allow their happy day to fill me with doubt or sadness over me not being married myself.

I love the wisdom that comes with age, I love the grace that comes with a long life lived with ample regrets and gratitude.  It is quite rare to explain to seniors about my lifestyle choices and my decision of not getting married young and have it be received well, so to hear her being excited about my path was quite surprising and I was rather enjoying the way this conversation was going.  She assured me that with each year that passes, wisdom will grow in me so I have the ability to pick the perfect life partner, someone I will not rush into things with and someone I will be more than sure about because I waited so long.  I was eating up her every word.

Then, she asked once again how old I was.  I repeated I was twenty six and she got this sudden look of despair on her face.  “Oh, goodness, I must have been confused.  I meant to say I got married when I was twenty five” she said, “your in real trouble baby girl, your clock is ticking and if you expect to have babies and find a man that wants you, you better get on the train”!

Ha, darn, and just like that the conversation was over….

Disclaimer:  Working with seniors was not the job I spoke about disliking in my last post.  As always I have a few jobs on the go, and chillin’ with a few old birds here and there happens to be something I love very much!

POTENTIAL SHMENTIAL

Hello my name is Jenelle and I am not living up to my potential.  Like most, it is true that I am probably not living up to my potential in a few areas of my life but right now I am particularly noticing it in my job.

When I got home from traveling I went through some bohemian stage where I didn’t want to come back and be defined by my career.  I wanted to avoid the oh-so-predictable trap of working seventy-five percent of my days away and not having balance between me-time and work-time.  I wanted to come back and get a crappy little job to cover my bank account while my wandering mind decided where about’s it wanted to settle down, and I knew it would be unfair to get into my field of work if I didn’t know how long I would be around for.

So, I did the growed up thing by taking the first job I was offered and sticking with it until I made a plan, BUT today as I was doing yet another mundane task I couldn’t help but think I was not living up to my potential…at all.  By no means am I saying I am better than the job, that is not the case.  It has to do with me personally, I know my strengths, I know where I am used well.  I know by not using my brain in the slightest I am not living up to my potential.  I am not using my ability to connect with people, I am not using my education which I worked so hard for and I love, and I am not using my heart.

I have learnt a few things in the last couple months at this job.  Having your heart invested into your job is key.  If my heart found joy or even contentment at this job, I would be fine, but it doesn’t.  Second is, thoughtless work however appealing it sounds to the hardworking person, is not rewarding…in the slightest.  Don’t get me wrong, I actually manage to do a great job at my crappy job, but when I leave at the end of the day I feel as though nothing meaningful was accomplished, nothing rewarding at all.  My days are filled with mindless tasks, rude people, robotic routines and boring beyond boring days.  There is nothing in this position that resembles me.

So yes, my name is Jenelle and I am not living up to my potential….bummer, I know.  I don’t like the sounds of this either so I suppose a part II to this post will be in order soon!  PS: be your potential today…I dare ya!

Come and go…

Images found on Plastic Sfoonss

AND THIS ROAD

there is a road calling my name
i’m not too sure where this one will lead, I guess I haven’t thought it out that far
but I feel it in my toes, as they curl and tap in unsettlement
and I see it in my thumb as it lifts itself as if to practice the movement to come
and I wonder if through all their fear they hear my tails of excitement
and I know that something wonderful is waiting for me on that road

i walk on fingers crossed…

You know on Christmas morning when your done opening gifts and then suddenly you spot one tiny little gift still waiting to be opened under the tree?  Everyone looks at it in excitement waiting to see whose gift it is.  Its yours.  You are filled with a new curiosity and joy in opening the last gift, a feeling you didn’t have for any other gift youve opened.  Anyway, thats the feeling I get when I look through plastic sfoonss blog.

I ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ at all the pictures all by my lonesome.  I say allowed words of affirmation and nod my head in agreeance to all the lovely quotes.  I smile when I love the pretty pictures and I laugh when one reminds me slightly of myself.  This blog is just a compilation of everyone else’s photos and quotes, but I love it….my heart really loves looking through it.

Here are some of my favorites…

2ne1 or bust!

I totally admit I am a sucker for pop bands!  Spice Girls, Back Street Boys, N sync, Hanson Brothers, I mean I pretty much love them all (note present tense).  In Asia no matter what country, 2NE1 was the ‘it’ band everywhere.  It only took a few songs/videos before this little group was bopping around in my head.  I havent heard their songs in ages and this morning I was getting ready for the day and started craving this little Asian pop band in a bad way.  These four Korean girls are freakin ADORABLE!  Their spicy lil dances, the amazing hair (seriously), and the clothes that make me want to fly to Asia just to go shopping NOW, well it all just hooks me in.  Anyway, in case your interested THIS is what I was dancing around too in front of the mirror this morning, enjoy!

THINK PINK

My sister Christa found out today she is having a baby girl and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  I am excited for her to have a little girl to dote on again but I am over the moon that Tula will have a sister to share life with in just a few short months.  My sisters are my greatest gift in life.  They are the two people that hold me up the most, they are my best friends, my shining stars, my worst enemies, my favourite moments.  They are my bitter truths, my deepest connections, my biggest annoyances, and my greatest inspirations.

My sisters know almost every single detail of my life.  They are the two people in the world who understand me the best.  They know my likes and dislikes, they can predict me almost to a tee, every heart struggle of mine they know, and every accomplishment I achieve they are the first ones to cheer me on.  The first people I call when something is wrong are my sisters.  When I have big news to share and want to explode in joy, my sisters are the ones to know about it first.  They are the ones who will listen to endless yipping about some silly boy, the ones who will always keep me on my toes with pointless bantering, and the two women who will hold my hand through anything.

My sisters and I we grow together, we share life.  Childhood, marriage, children, retirement, all of that will be shared with my sisters, every life up and down will be with the two of them.  My sisters are my heartbeat…they are my timeline.

I am thrilled THIS is what Tula gets to share with her new sister.  Congratulations Coppola’s, I’m so excited for you all, but Tula Belle, my heart is especially happy for you tonight!

Mr. Funny Pants…

Some people are straight up funny.  I found this random guys myspace page and this was his little write up, it made me giggle.

I’m a recovering everything-aholic. I write music. I play guitar, bass, drums and piano badly. I was in a rock band, but sold it/out for a computer. I enjoy long walks in my room. . I teach zen monks how to cook beans on toast. . I helped put the blue in the rainbow. . I rescue firemen from trees. . I co-wrote harry potter but was unhappy with the result so I took my name off the credits. .I wave hello and say goodbye. . I give small children to charity. . I breath carbon dioxide and burp oxygen. . I can count up to ten on one hand. . At age two I drew the world’s first square circle. . At age three I could run before I could walk. . At age four I adopted my parents. . In my spare time I feed rocks to small children. . I once solved the omnipotence paradox while drunk, but forgot it the next day as I didn’t have a pen. . Atheists regard me as their God. . I once swam the Panama canal for charity, but forgot to get sponsored. . I wrote the first ever book detailing how to hypnotise cats and create an army of feline soldiers willing to aid in the conquering of the middle east. No publishers were interested.

Image found on weheartit.com

Why I love my week…

Knowing the world is mine, that every little corner of it can be discovered by me if that is the choice I make AND reliazing with that, I am happy and content here

Knowing when to say yes

Friendships that melt me, that build me up and make me strong

New endings and new beginnings…I am so thankful for new endings

Summer working desperately hard to find its way home

Images found on weheartit.com