Had a great dinner with a friend the other night and got to talking about dating. My wheels have been turning for a while now as to what and who I want to date next (haha as if its some hockey roster) and Ive began writing up a few golden rules in my head trying to figure it out. Lately ive tried doing a list of things that I want in a relationship but quite frankly I sucked at it. If I knew what I wanted, I would have it already. Sure I want all those qualities that most people talk about (funny, creative, friendship, blah blah) but there are also qualities that are so wonderful, big and captivating that I have never been introduced too or could even imagine, so I dont even know that I want them yet (which is so exciting for me). What I have figured out is what I dont want.
I’ve had conversations with some of my friends that blog about the rules of blogging about your heart. Where do you draw the line on things you feel, want to express, and therapeutically spew from your mouth online? Dating for me has always been a kind of off limits topic on my blog. And then I realized why the heck would it be. Gosh, if some guy I date a couple times wants to google my butt and pick up a few tips for the future, by all means be my guest, it makes it easier on me! So on that note here is a peek at my list….oh and a forewarning, tact on these matters isn’t exactly my greatest strength.
One: This one is number one for a reason cause it always friggin well happens. If I can have you, I dont want you. This doesn’t last forever so don’t push your luck but in the beginning don’t hand yourself over on some platter. Im sure your a handsome, funny, crazy man that has a bunch of options in women and life so realize that and act like that; confident not arrogant its so bloody charming.
Two: Be a leader, have a voice, form opinions….state them. Believe it or not, not all woman are not bra burning broads that want to take the reigns all the time. As a matter of fact with my dating history it is officially safe to say it is a scientific FACT that with me if you cant lead, I cant follow, which means I lead and then we have a mess on our hands so for both of our sakes just make some decisions.
Three: Keep me on my toes forever and always. I get bored, I drift, I dream, the moment my life becomes redundant I run for the hills. To have the same thing every day scares the living crap out of me so change it up and always keep me guessing. I pretty much need to know that on any given day we can up and join the circus or move to a new continent, even if we never do it, I need to know the option is there.
Four: Lighten up. Please smile and laugh, be fun, create, enjoy things. Those sensitive, dark, emotional men are captivating and I loves it, but if you cant enjoy life than I pretty much cant enjoy my time with you.
Five: Dont be needy, for the love of God DO NOT be needy or any other word related too or sounding like needy (clingy, pouty, leach, lifeless). Needy makes me feel claustrophobic and when I feel claustrophobic I have a tendency of making really rash decisions or moving to other countries…literally.
Six: Get your sh*t together. Please dont come to me all burdened and broken. I dont care to fix you. We all have our dysfunctions and as the story has been told in my life, a little dysfunction here or there gets me every time but moderation guys, please keep it in moderation. We can fight through things together and all that ra-ra-ra jazz and I will always be your number one supporter (ohh that is a lovely strength of mine) but if you come to me expecting for me to fight harder than you do at your own mess than your SOL.
Seven: I want space. This much space ! ! ! Nothing is wrong, we dont need to talk about it, I simply like being alone sometimes and I hope you do too. Please have your own life, dont lose your life when we meet and dont expect me to give up mine either. S P A C E !!!!!!
Eight: The moment you need me more than you want me is the moment I jet. Everyone loves to be needed and I hope to get out of self one day soon enough to need someone as well but I dont ever want to need someone more than I want them or desire them nor do I want that in a partner.
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