Monthly Archives: February 2011

Moving forward, moving no where…

Its funny really,
The ability to move on without really moving anywhere
The awareness that comes after a certain point
“Oh, they don’t really want to know how I am, they just want to hear im better”

Silly me!

And so it is
You join life, admit defeat, and do it with a smile
After all who can really stay in bed forever?

You were right
Time healed everything
And now?
Now I’m good, I am really really good
All fixed up, no pain at all
Ive got a job, im being active, even going out with friends
SEE, I am better

And somehow hearing that…
So are you.

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Vitamins and nothing….

Cause if you take your vitamins and pay your taxes and never the cut the line, the universe still gives you people to love and then lets them slip through your fingers like water, and then what have you got?  Vitamins and nothing….

~Greys Anatomy

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Bruised and reshaped…

What is there to say about grief?

Grief is a tidal wave that overtakes you, smashes you up into its darkness, where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces, only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped.

Grief means not being able to read more than two sentences at a time.  It is walking into rooms with intention that suddenly vanishes.

Grief is three-o’ clock-in-the-morning sweats that wont stop.  It is dreadful Sundays, and Mondays that are no better.  It makes you look for a face in a crowd, knowing full well the face we want cannot be found in that crowd.

Grief is utter aloneness that razes the rational mind and makes room for the phantasmagoric.  It makes you suddenly get up and leave in the middle of a meeting, without saying a word.

Grief makes what others think of you moot.  It shears away the masks of normal life and forces brutal honestly out of your mouth before propriety can stop you.  It shoves away friends, scares away so-called friends, and rewrites your address book for you.

Grief makes you laugh at people who cry over spilled milk, right to their faces.  It tells the world you are untouchable at the very moment when touch is the only contact that might reach you.  It makes lepers out of upstanding citizens.

Grief discriminates against no one.  It kills.  Maims.  And cripples.  It is the the ashes from which the phoenix rises, and the mettle of rebirth.  It returns life to the living dead.  It teaches that there is nothing absolutely true or untrue.  It assures the living that we know nothing for certain.  It humbles.  It shrouds.  It blackens.  It enlightens.

Grief will make a new person out of you, if it doesn’t kill you in the making.

~Companion Through the Darkness, Stephanie Ericsson

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Walking Dead…

Ive never seen a zombie movie before, truthfully I dont even know what they are. But I know somewhere out there there is a zombie movie called The Walking Dead and im beginning to think I could be friends with those folks…at the very least relate.

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I cannot…

I cannot live with my memories yet I cannot live without them….

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To whom do I owe this thanks?

I am unsure of the exact person I owe my utmost gratitude too, but whoever invented grilled cheese sandwiches, you have my deep deep thanks.  For the last four months these delicious cheesy sandwiches have become an absolute staple in our home and without them I am quite sure starvation would be the consequence.  Breakfast, 1am snack, dinner…meh, grilled cheese provides fulfillment any time of the day.  So thank-you trusty GC for filling my tummy in an exceptional manner, thank-you for doubling up with the trusty dill pickle to provide even greater taste-bud satisfaction, and thank you for only needing three ingredients and two minutes of my time; you my friend are brilliance at its finest!

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