I believe birthday wishes still come true in heaven, in fact I would like to believe birthday wishes carry more weight in heaven. Tomorrow is my Dads birthday and this year I am sure my Dad would have bundles of birthday wishes. He would have piles of wishes for each of his family members; he would wish upon them health and love, a healing in their hearts, a growing in their spirit and faith, a life of living testimony to the roots we were given particularly through the troubles we face. And his girls, he would have so many birthday wishes for his girls. It breaks my heart to name them all because I picture him, on his knees in prayer desperately pleading yet strikingly confident for the wishes he has in store for us.
This year however I believe his big birthday wish would be for his wife. I know pain in a whole new level after experiencing the tragic loss of my Dad. At times my ache is overwhelmingly large; a paralysing of the mind, a delicateness of the spirt. YET, when I put myself in my Moms shoes, my heart is overwhelmed with sorrow. I lost my father and this hurt is large, but the loss of a spouse is a whole new playing field that I hope to never experience. I know my Dads hurt is large when he thinks about the burden my mom now carries and the loneliness she is forced to face at not even fifty years old; I also know if birthday wishes really do come true my Dad would blow out each and every candle thinking of her.
So this year, on behalf of my father, I am extending his birthday wishes to my mom. I cant even comprehend the endless list of birthday wishes he would share with her and I am sure it breaks his heart knowing most of his wishes cannot come true right now. But I believe he would wish her a day of love, of shared support and uplifting, of friendship and family that touches her heart. He would wish her laughter and memories. He would wish her a renewed faith and friendship in the Lord. He would wish her the memory of whispered dreams and encouragement’s only the two of them shared. He would wish her the thought of his hugs, and the remembrance of his kisses. He would wish that she knew beyond a doubt how proud and amazed he is as he watches her master the toughest roll in her life. Endless, endless wishes he would pour onto the love of his life in celebration of his birthday.
I watch my Mom navigate through this journey and I have unbelievable pride in the woman she is. This is a woman full of strength and beauty. A woman who can face one tragic loss after another and continue to get up and fight against life again and again. She is a person who can identify with pain more than most but can also see the beauty in life more than most. A Mom who continues to care for her children, to love on them, to support them, to know them, to hurt for them. A lady who still is an amazing friend, an unbelievable grandma, a giving, uplifting, and compassionate person. The whole world would understand if she laid down and quit but no, not my mom, she simply does not know the word quit. As my Dad would say, my mom truly is “simply the best”.
So tomorrow as we celebrate my Dads birthday, I hope as he blows all his candles out in heaven, each and every wish he has for all of us float down to earth and land in our laps. Thats how Dad would have wanted his birthday anyway, to be about us, rather than him…thats what made him so special.
I’ve got money in my pocket,
I like the color of my hair.
I’ve got a friend who loves me,
Got a house, I’ve got a car.
I’ve got a good mother,
and her voice is what keeps me here.
Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
I‘ve never wanted anything.
No I’ve, no I’ve, I’ve never wanted anything,
so bad..(so bad).
Cardboard masks of all the people I’ve been
Thrown out, with all the rusted, tangled
dented God Damned miseries!!
You could say I’m hard to hold,
But if you knew me you’d know,
I’ve got a good father,
And his strength is what makes me cry.
I’ve never wanted anything,
No I’ve, no I’ve, I’ve never
wanted anything so bad..(so bad).