Monthly Archives: April 2010

Make a good day…

The other day I had one of those terrible, no good, very bad days.  My head was bursting, my heart was full, my attitude stunk.  Sometimes I catch myself having days like this and it makes me sad.  It saddens me because I know it is a choice, every bad attitude, every unkind word, or darkened thought, it is a choice, it is a mind frame and decision I can control and change.  I need to check myself sometimes, I need to rearrange thoughts, and step back from situations.  I need to rehears little pep talks and question my intentions and my perceptions.

This morning I woke up and here are the thoughts that passed through my mind.  Personally, spiritually, as a friend, a sibling, a daughter or son, are you living your life to your fullest potential?  When you meet a stranger on the street, when you go home to your lover, when you set goals for yourself, when your working in your job, what can you add to live out your best?  When you have to deal with a miserable person, or are challenged with a competitive friend, when your storm is picking up speed and turning into a tornado are you maintaining your beautiful self?  Those tough life challenges, or personal convictions, the easy moments in life where you are nothing but still; with your time, your money, your past and your present are you exactly who you want to be and proud of who you are?

Today I will be my potential, I will live my next twenty-four hours being the best possible me because I CHOOSE to do so!


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Once like a spark…

(once like a spark)

if strangers meet
life begins-
not poor not rich
(only aware)
kind neither
nor cruel
(only complete)
i not not you
not possible;
only truthful
if strangers(who
deep our most are

(and so to dark)

e.e. cummings

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I wish I could see you the same way you see yourself….but its just not there!

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Conversations with God…

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People like sports, they like watching them and playing for them, dressing up in crazy sports-related costumes and painting their faces in all sorts of loyal colors.  I am not one of these people.

In college a mandatory class for my area of study was gym.  Gym?!?  What the heck was that nonsense all about?  We had to pick a sport and teach it to the class.  We had to get all passionate about ‘our sport’ and learn the technical terms, make up hand-outs for the class, and we even had to DO the sport ourselves, like physically for-real we had to practice the sport and learn the forms until we were good enough to actually teach it.  It was a mess, the whole class was a mess for me.

You see im not exactly the sporty type of gal.  I could care less who plays, who wins, or what the heck everyone is doing on that little field, rink, or other playing area of theirs.  Needless to say my teacher and I were not one anothers greatest fans.  Approximately ohhh about 80% of the classes I did not participate in BUT I always attended, my hand-outs were super crafty and cute, and I had ligament excuses for sitting out every time (AKA my dog ate my energy), oh yeah and being the type A student I was I did learn all the technical stuff so I aced my final exam with flying colors and managed to pass GYM with an A+ (which im pretty sure almost drove my teacher to sheer madness).  Haha, I love it, I, me, moi, passed gym with an A+!!!

In one of our classes someone was teaching floor hockey.  Now IF I were to enjoy sports at all, hockey would be the one I would choose.  I was raised in hockey, I kinda sorta ‘get’ the game, and I love me some hockey boys so I think it would be my winning pick BUT hockey on the ground, with all girls, ew, there is nothing more gross then a bunch of women playing sports and getting all aggressive with one another.  The faces they make, the pent-up ‘imma be sports icon’ attitude they have secretly had since their kindergarden t-ball games (or whatever they’re referred too as), the way they yell in this mean voice even when they are cheering you on, I mean the whole thing just isn’t for me.  THANKFULLY I spotted my out the moment I walked in the gym (sometimes I am sheer genius).  Helmets, baskets and buckets of dirty used helmets all lice infested and stinky just screaming out unhygienic.  “Sorry teach, this is not gonna happen and that is not going on my head…im pretty sure the health board would support my decision” (whoever or whatever the ‘health board’ is), she reluctantly allowed me to sit the class out due to ‘unhygienic reasons’ and THAT was the beginning of my sheer brilliance to graduating college with a 3.92 GPA!

For the record, today I was planning to get all athletic, then I wrote…

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1000 Awesome Things

1000 Awesome Things was a blog started in 2008 about all the little great things in life that make you smile.  It is updated every weekday and so far the website has just over half left to update before the list is finished and they will release the book.  Ive loved reading through these and seeing all the ones that are soo me.
Here are a few of my favorites!
#997 Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away
#992 Being the first table to get called up for the dinner buffet at a wedding

#946 The first shower you take after not showering for a really long time

#918 When you’re really tired and about to fall asleep and someone throws a blanket on you

#913 Having a whole row by yourself on the plane

#903 Picking scabs

#879 The Parking Lot Pull Through

#837 Pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid

#823 When you find out what was making that horrible smell and get rid of it

#815 When you nudge the person snoring next to you and it makes them stop

#704 Taking the price tag off in one clean peel

#674 When your laptop or cell phone is just about to die but you manage to run and plug it in before it completely shuts off

#612 Finally farting after the guests leave

Image Source: one [Bboby Leopz] two [Tec Petaja] three [David Martinez] four [Steal Everything] five [Tumblr] six [Daisy St Peters] seven [Awesome Things] eight [Awesome Things] nine [Plastic Sfoonss] ten [Alex Grazioli] eleven [Ashley Elledge] twelve [Alex Grazioli] thirteen [Bored or Border]

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Lets not play pretend

Esse Quam Videri – To be, rather than to seem to be…

If only we could all be this honest….

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Hands that make me proud

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit with an old client of mine.  All of my clients are special, very very special, but this young man happens to be exceptionally special to me.  I dont know why to tell you the truth; I dont know if it is because he resonated feelings I could relate too from when I was his age, or if it is the fact that we clicked so effortlessly and were able to form such a great relationship of trust and respect, it could have simply been his charm, or his this-is-me take it or leave it type attitude.  Regardless of the reason this is a very special young man to me and someone I am so proud to have in my life.

From the moment I met up with him yesterday this young mans hands seemed to stand out so much to me.  People ask me if being a youth worker is hard, if I actually see the results I am hoping for, if change is for the majority or minority for our youth.  They want stats, they want to know if my role in their lives has any impact what-so-ever.  I never know what to say.  I believe my expectations are different from what society as a whole might deem as appropriate growth.  When I work with a youth my goal is not that they will grow and change in leaps and bounds, my realism recognizes I cannot take endless years of ingrained unimaginable life circumstances and turn it into something blossoming and beautiful in less than twelve months.  My hope is that I will see some of their positive life goals come to fruition and my personal goal is to provide a safe relationship where my clients feel comfortable in sharing their struggles, to allow me to challenge them in new ways, and to form a consistent relationship with them that is beneficial in the interim and hopefully will last into the future.

So, as I looked at this young mans hands I almost saw what many other people see.  I saw that these are the hands that have dealt drugs for more than half of their lifetime.  They are the hands that have been in handcuffs far too many times and the hands that have gripped too many jail bars for being their age.  They are the hands that are all too familiar with the feel for dirty money, the hands that roll the joints and pop the pills on a far too regular basis.  They are the hands that have hurt people, that have harmed others and who have harmed their owner.

BUT when I look at these hands my eyes see something different.  I see that these are the hands that have wiped away far too many tears for a young boy (and now man) to cry.  These are the hands that have pleaded for his own parents to love him, to keep him, and to not give up on him.  They are the hands that have protected his siblings and blocked physical harm from those who were supposed to protect him.  They are the hands that have endlessly folded in prayer for second chances and new beginings.  These are the hands that have held his own child for the first time and the hands his son runs too when something is wrong.  They are hands of a fighter, a soul fighter, a spiritual fighter.  But most of all, today I see, they ARE working hands, hands that are put through hard long legitimate hours of work to slowly crawl out of their past.  These are the hands that will save him, these are the hands of a survivor.


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Mission for today: FLIRT

I woke up nice and early this morning and I can already tell today is going to be a beautiful day.  Not only did I have the pleasure waking up to a bright sunny day, I also woke up feeling a little extra skinny this morning…yes, I love skinny days!  Upon my early arise I decided today would be the day I start flirting again (or more, its still up for debate).  Im turning into a darn prude over here!  So this morning im gonna darling my little butt up, get a few things done around the city I need to do, AND im gonna flirt my way through the afternoon.  I havent dated in ages, I havent flirted in ages, why not, its so fun.  The tricky part is, my sly really isnt so sly.  Ill be pulling up to the red light and lowering my sunglasses to wink at the cutie parked beside me, instead ill end up blinking hard with both eyes, my face will do this weird twitch thing and then he’ll get this confused, oh-my-goodness are you ok type look.  It will turn awkward and ill end up driving away really fast and pulling out my cell phone trying desperately to regain the image of cool.  Oh today, you are already so much fun!

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